Image Credit: © Don Lavange | Tavian and the Water | CC by 2.0
I have to start today with a heartfelt Thank You for all of you who have taken the time to submit your parenting story with us.
Keep ’em coming!
I have loved reading them all and am so happy to share what will hopefully be the first of many parent submissions today.
We have written about poop before and, sadly, I am sure we will again. Today’s story is proof that kids can come up with thousands of ways to use it to make our life hell.
Whether you agree with the author’s stance on re-usable swim diapers or not, I think you’ll find her story relateable.
I also had to giggle as I read this one as I myself had just returned from wrangling a 6-year-old, 4-year-old and 1-year-old at swim lessons that morning. Enjoy…
Recently I put my baby in a plastic garbage bag.
WAIT! Before you call the police, let me explain.
Basically, it all started when the dog got arrested. My husband was arguing a case at the 9th Circuit (he’s seriously awesome, you guys) and the kids and I were going to meet up with him to spend the weekend down in the Bay Area.
Anyway, the husband was going to take the dog to “camp” on Sunday (“camp” is where the dog goes when we go away. Normal dogs go to a boarder but fancy dogs, like our dog, go to hunting camp where they get to hunt and run and swim and do other fancy dog things, I think. It’s all very camp-like, if you ask me).
But since the dog was in jail on Sunday, taking him to camp was an impossibility which meant that the husband had to take him on Monday instead. The end result of all of this is that the husband was not able to help with swim lessons.
Which meant that I had to take all three kids with me to swim lessons (normally just the 3-year-old, the 1-year-old and I go to swim on Mondays and the husband and 5-year-old go home and make dinner).
But since Washoe County Animal Control is in the business of removing dogs from THEIR OWN FRONT YARD, (True story. They “found” OUR dog on OUR front yard. And they arrested him. And since they’re not open on the weekends, we had to wait until Monday to spring him from the clink) I was tasked with taking everyone to swim.
Which is a challenge but certainly isn’t impossible. What makes it impossible is when the baby poops in her swim diaper.
You see, the swim school likes us to use these ridiculously ridiculous reusable swim diapers which I’m sure are better for the environment or some lame thing like that but when poop is involved, they are basically completely useless and I, for one, choose convenience over the environment when poop is involved.
So Kid #3 went right ahead and pooped in her swim diaper which forced me to wrangle three wet kids out of the pool, one of whom was oozing wet poop.
WET. POOP.
If there’s something worse than regular poop, it’s wet poop.
When you try to take off a reusable swim diaper that’s filled with wet poop, everyone winds up dead. No exaggeration. I’ve died at the hands of this situation no less than 3 times.
BUT! I’m capable of learning. So I found myself a plastic garbage bag, put the baby IN it and THEN took the poop filled diaper off of her.
It wasn’t flawless but it was better that flinging wet poop into all corners of the universe which is what happens when you try to remove a wet, poopy swim diaper out in the open.
And the folks at the swim school were impressed with my ingenuity. They may never admit it but I know it’s true.
Anna is a working mom of three who is frantically trying to make sure that everyone is where they need to be, when they need to be there.
She lives in Reno, Nevada with her kids, husband and their two dogs and she is trying hard to come to terms with the fact that her family expects to be fed dinner every single night.
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