It’s January and for many parents that means it’s time to start thinking about school registration for next year. Jessica’s back today with a parenting topic that strikes close to home for me– when to officially start your “summer baby” in school.
Our middle child was born in July so we wrestled with this ourselves and were surprised by the factors that came into play… academic readiness and social readiness, definitely, as well as if kindergarten will be full day or half day.
What it mostly came down to for us, though, was the spacing between all three of our kids. Ultimately, we opted to hold our daughter back in large part because this way there will be two years between her older brother and her and three years between her younger brother and her instead of only 1 year between our two oldest kids and (what feels like) a really large 4 year gap between them and our youngest.
Here’s Jessica’s experience…
Four years ago, we had no clue that our late August baby would mean we’d be dealing with the decision of when he’d actually start school. Our older two kiddos, with their April birthdays, both had a year of preschool and then went to kindergarten the year they were five. Boom, done, no questions asked.
But if we follow the same pattern with our youngest son, he’ll be starting kindergarten as a four year old. And that seems… young. I mean, he’d turn five pretty quickly after the semester begins, but still.
This is a child who still operates on two modes – “unconscious” or “ninety million miles an hour.” I’m a little worried about unleashing him on a kindergarten teacher. I don’t want that on my conscience, you know?
So when I look at him just as the little person he is, I go back and forth (and back and forth) on whether I think he’d totally blossom in a setting like kindergarten or if he’d be the kid screaming and clinging to my leg at the door.
Honestly, I think he’d benefit from being a little older and more independent. And I’m not going to lie – it’s going to make things easier on me.
So based on these critical points, we decided we’d delay his entrance to school until he was five.
But then I had to go and research the topic, where I found tons of studies that backed up our decision and basically said we were brilliant and wise and totally on the ball to delay him. They said we’d be giving him a leg up academically and socially, and he’d have fewer struggles in general.
So I felt totally validated and high-fived myself for my awesome, totally instinctive parenting skills.
And then I read a bunch that said actually you’re not doing this kid any favors, and really, it’s the ones who are younger who benefit in the long run. And also, if he has any developmental delays, well, you’re screwing him out of a year’s worth of dealing with that.
Ugh, thanks, Internet. Way to bring me down.
But then I rallied. I said, you know what? You can stuff all your studies, because we’re staying the course on this one. I know my boy, and I know that while he’s a bright little guy, he’s just not ready for that kind of structure and set up.
It turns out my husband knew that all along, and just let me do my research/debate/agonize/flip flop thing because he figured I’d come back to where we began soon enough.
So, yeah, we’re giving him the gift of time.
And if delaying him a year means he’s a little bigger on the soccer field one day, well, I guess that’s just a fringe benefit.
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