Jessica is back today discussing her parenting style when it comes to extracurricular activities. More specifically, her experience enrolling her son in a martial arts program at age 4.
When and where to start enrolling your kids in activities has to be one of the most personal choices of parenting.
There doesn’t actually seem to be a lot of routinely recited advice on the topic (other than to always, always – Dear God, Always! – be weary of over-scheduling). So I love to see what other families are doing and how it’s working for them.
Here’s Jessica…
Our four year old is kind of a pistol, and between his late August birthday, our decision to delay kindergarten and my work-from-home situation, he’s going to end up starting preschool much later than his two older siblings did. That was our choice, but it started to become a bit of an issue a few months ago.
He was bored, you see, and he needed some kind of structure I wasn’t giving him because I was eyebrow-deep in website content and deadlines.
So while the plan for preschool was next fall, when his brother and sister go back after summer break, we gave him a choice:
Preschool or karate.
Our older two are nine and seven this month, and they’ve both been in martial arts for four years now. It’s been a fun, low-key way for them to learn about setting and achieving goals, failing and trying again, respect and self-discipline. I like the idea that they’re learning self defense, and it’s cool that they’re strong and flexible.
Sometimes they’re super keen, and they want to go four times a week. Other weeks we go once. It’s on them to make the effort.
Our four year old has basically grown up at this martial arts academy. Everyone knows him by name and he’s been watching his brother and sister’s classes for years, but he’s never shown any interest in trying it himself.
When we gave him the option of school or karate, he surprised us all by choosing karate. I was relieved. I’ve been anticipating a rough start to preschool – that whole “you stay, I go” thing is going to be a challenge for this one, who likes to stick close – and I thought martial arts would be an important bridge. We’d be apart while he did his thing, but I’d still be in the room watching.
So fast forward to his first class. He was pumped for his new gi and white camo belt, and we got a seat right up front so we could watch class.
But while he was willing to sit “like a black belt” in line with the other kiddos, he did it right in front of my knees. And when the instructor told everyone to stand up, sound off and go into resting position – all things he knew and practiced at home – the panic set in.
He stayed firmly right between my knees for the entire class.
So, fine. Observation mode for the first class. We figured we’d try again the next day.
On day two, after some discussion in which we pointed out that we were there to watch him and he agreed to actually try, he started off strong, standing up and reciting the student oath with the other kids. But then he refused to participate in the warm-up game, and he wouldn’t move farther than a few feet from us when they moved on to feeding rounds.
But the instructors weren’t fazed. One of them dropped a Thai pad for our boy right in his comfort zone, – which was basically reaching distance to us – and came to him for his turn. We got a delighted thumbs up from our big guy after he threw his first few punches and gave his instructor a high five.
It took another two or three classes before he was participating in everything, but the instructors let him ease into things on his own and now, he’s really into it all.
It’s only half an hour two or three times a week, but just this little bit of dedicated time for an activity of his own is paying off. He dutifully attends soccer games and demo team performances and school activities and his little sister’s well-baby appointments, so having something that’s just his – something where his siblings are watching him for a change – must be validating.
With four of them, we have no “middle kid,” but I don’t want any of our kiddos to ever feel lost in the shuffle. Between game schedules and snack schedules and all the gear we’ll need to keep track of, it probably won’t be easy, but I’m willing to let everyone have their thing, whatever it is.
And so it begins.
He’s only four, and that may seem young to start an organized sport or activity. But we called it – he needed a bit of structure, and we’re noticing that he’s calming down a little on the home front.
You can’t imagine how much we all needed that.
Get Your Free Printable
Subscribe to our newsletter today and get our free printable... No More, "Mom, I'm Bored!"
